T-minus four days and counting...

It is April 12th and I will have my surgery this Friday, April 16th. The surgery center called today for the particulars, I go in the morning for an EKG and bloodwork, and if I pass those tests, I'm on the table at 9 AM Friday! One thing I thought odd, though...they said (and I quote) "should you decide to wear panties during the procedure, please make sure they are 100% cotton." Now, the inquisitive part of me wants to know why? Why cotton? Why can't I wear a blend? And are they going to check the tag to be certain I have followed their directions? Did they think I would show up in a purple lace thong? Puhleeeze, I think that's crazy! But I'm getting hung up on small details, I know.

I am bouncing back and forth between sheer ecstacy and absolute full-on panic. Thank goodness tax season is keeping me busy and I don't have a lot of time to dwell on details. I hope to stay very busy until we close up shop on Thurday. I would imagine Thursday night will be a sleepless one, though.

I've heard from good authority that the first day is okay, the second is terrible, but after that, it should be smooth sailing. Rob has decided he wants to take me rather than Kay...and I'm fine with it if it makes him feel better somehow. I hadn't even entertained the thought that he might have been feeling left out of all the excitement. Anyway, that's the plan now - show up at 8 AM on Friday morning, 3 hour procedure then 1 hour in recovery and ta da! A brand new me.

Countdown to JTE

Lots of things have happened since my last blog. First, I did, indeed, have my "consult" with Dr. Eyssen....and immediately determined I did NOT want him doing my work. First off, he's ancient; his hand was actually shaking as he was writing down some notes for me...and you want me to let you hold a scalpel and cut me WHERE? I don't think so...plus, he had the audacity to say something along the lines of "Even in a bikini, you won't be able to see your scars...oh, wait, you're well past your bikini years, aren't you?" What in God's name did you just say to me, I wanted to scream. I do wear two piece bathing suits still...I wouldn't call them bikinis, but I rock 'em out all the same. So, after paying him $90 to insult me not once but twice (he suggested I might want to have a little mini tummy tuck while I was in the hospital - after all, why pay twice for anesthesia and hospital room when I could do it all at once - WTF?), I steamed and stewed all the way back to my office. There, I decided to give his office manager a call, express my concerns, and ask to have a consultation with one of the other surgeons in the group, Dr. Chase. Dr. Chase is reponsible for "the job" one of my sweetest friends had a couple of years ago and she still sings his praises and loves her boobs so...the office manager kindly obliged me with a "free" consultation with Dr. Chase, and I am now scheduled for surgery on Friday, April 16th.

Kind of ironic - the day after tax season....ending the busiest time of year for me. The firm always closes this day and treats it as an extra holiday for the staff, but this year, I'll spend it under the knife, which will give me two good weekend days to recuperate with pain meds...I've taken the following week off - just in case - and I'll wander back downtown to my home-away-from-home where I get paid every two weeks when I feel well enough to do so.

The cost of my JTE...$5,525. Yep, that's it, which is roughly $2,762.50 per boob. Well, technically, the left one will cost a little more because it's a little bigger and he's going to reduce it a bit to make me more symmetrical. I had no idea I even needed to be symmetrical so I'm kind of excited about that little bonus.

I have mixed emotions. When I made the appointment back in January, it seemed like an eternity away. I arranged with my best friend, Kell, to take me (can't explain why but I don't want my husband with me!!!) In the meantime, Kelley has fallen on her own dark days - arrested for DUI (she was not drinking, rather she had taken some anti-anxiety medication prescribed by her doctor and she blacked out while driving, hit a tree, and was arrested. She was fired from her job, also...so I think my back up plan, Kay, will be taking me to the hospital, then toting me home and tucking me safely into bed. I'll owe her lots of cocktails for this one.

So I'm excited and anxious all at the same time. Fortunately, I won't have much free time to think about it - baseball season starts this week, tax season is in full swing, I'm having to pick up some of Kelley's duties here at work...so the time will fly leading up to the procedure. But what if something goes wrong during what is clearly a very vain undertaking on my part? It's funny, but my big ol' boobs have never bothered me like they have in the past few weeks - they just seem in the way and almost untamable these days. So maybe that's nature's way of telling me I'm making the right decision...

This is definitely the most selfish thing I've ever done in my whole life and I hope it's the right decision. Will keep you "abreast" of the situation in the days to come....

My journey toward emancipation begins...

From here on out, this will be referred to as my JTE - much easier to type than "journey toward emancipation." And by emancipation, I mean freedom from these heavy, saggy BOOBS! That is right, tomorrow I begin my JTE with my first consultation with Dr. Eyssen. Why Dr. Eyssen? Well, several reasons - he comes highly recommended, is associated with the cosmetic surgery group in Chatt with the absolute best reputation and...there's a saying in the medical community in this area: "Dr. Eyssen makes nice 'uns." So...my sense of humor has once again helped me make a huge decision.

Although now I don't see anything funny about this JTE! It seemed like a great idea a few weeks ago when I called for the appointment...now, I feel like a big chicken sheeyut (I'm trying not to cuss this year - so far so good).

I have literally stayed in bed all day for two reasons: 1. I don't want to return to work tomorrow and 2. I'm a bit freaked out about having to stand in front of some man I don't know in my underwear (or worse - naked) and have him critique my 44-year-old body. Sheez, I hope he gets paid well - wait...I'll be the one paying him well!

I'm going to try to keep a journal here of this journey - this trip toward boob freedom. These heavy, cumbersome appendages have caused me much heart ache, anxiety and pretty much dictated what I wear for years now. It's time for me to show them who the boss really is...that would be me. To do that, I need some redesigning, reshaping, lifting and hoisting. I need Dr. Eyssen for that.

Lots of things will depend on when this gets done - I have to be in Orlando on business Feb. 11 - if he can get me scheduled with at least 10 good days of recuperationg between now and then, I'll have the procedure done this month. If not, I'll have to wait until after April 15th. Either way, by summer, I'll have a new set (provided my blood pressure is good and I'm a good candidate for the surgery...and the price tag won't break the bank). These are all questions that will be answered during my consultation tomorrow. Until then, I will rummage around and find my nicest panties and bra for my introduction to Dr. Eyssen.

I'll surely need a shot of tequila or a cigarette afterwards...