SHOTGUN!

Thing 1 and Thing 2 are driving me crazy these days with their silly little game of "shotgun." No matter where we're headed, no matter what time of day, as soon as we lock the back door and make our way toward the SUV, one of them screams "shotgun" then breaks into a full-throttle run for the passenger side door.

This drives me bonkers because no matter who wins the coveted place in the front, the other is pissed off to the max and protests - loudly.

What's the big deal, anway, and why did this male testosterone-driven competition suddenly begin? Thing 2's place has always been in the backseat but these days, he feels compelled to fight for the front seat spot. I'm very confused by this. And I'm very puzzled by the level of emotion associated with this little game. The boy who loses out usually punches the winner or hurls verbal assaults then begrudgingly crawls into the back seat and pouts. And the one that lands in the front seat insists upon doing a little victory dance and squealing with delight. I just don't get it.

It's gotten so out of hand, I've had to set rules for this little competition: 1. If you must scream "shotgun," do it quietly. 2. If you are the winner, you must not gloat over or taunt the loser. 3. If you are the loser, shut up and ride - not one peep out of the kid in the backseat, not one protest, a single punch or a glimmer of pouting. If any of these rules are broken, both boys are forced to ride in the backseat...together.

They have both been ousted to the backseat several times recently for not following the rules. And what has happened on those occasions confuses me even more. They both cross their arms and sulk, throwing glares and dirty looks at me in my rearview mirror. Then, Thing 1 almost always says, "Just wait 'til I get my own truck. Then we can BOTH ride in the front seat every day." Then the little one says, "Yeah!"

Whose game was this anyway?